I wrote this for all the moms who have moments of feeling completely overwhelmed, under-qualified and downright fearful of this massive task of motherhood, because I am one of those moms too!
Here is the link of the article in The Ballito Magazine
There are days when I sit at the table on my deck (normally in an attempt to do some work, laptop in front of me, caffeine to the side), and space out a little as I watch my babies playing. In these moments my heart and soul are filled with so many emotions. Pride is an immense one. Pride for so many things; their little personalities, the loving way in which they engage with each other, and the care my boys have for their little sister: this is not something I have taught them, it is something they have within them and it makes my heart implode within its chest cavity. Another overwhelming and very real emotion though, is fear. A genuine and heavy fear comes over me as I realise the enormous responsibility we hold as parents, and I hold as a mother to three babes. The unspoken expectation to be a good and loving parent at all times.
The (mammoth) task of raising beautiful humans. It is not a small job, it’s frikkin huge. In this fear is where many parents, and moms especially, get stuck. I can understand why! The weight on our shoulders is bigger than any other challenge we will encounter in our lives here on earth. I believe that it is healthy to sense this fear to some degree. To feel it come over you in brief moments and as we feel our chests tighten it reminds us that what we are doing is big, is important, and is to be taken seriously. I also believe though, that once we catch our breath it is vital that we release that fear, and rest in the knowledge that these precious beings were entrusted to us for a reason and a purpose.
There is danger in not releasing this fear. By living in the fear we allow it the power to cripple our confidence and thus our abilities to perform at our optimum. These tiny humans are ours to nurture and to grow as best we can for as long as they are in our nests because they are part of us. The very fact that they are part of us and we are part of them means there is no one better to discover the gold within them, and to extract it. The gold mining process isn’t always easy, it takes strength, consistency and patience to work through the layers of rock surrounding that gold, and separating it from the mud and that’s parenthood! When you reach it, though, and you polish it out in our little people the hope is that they will shine in all the glory they are meant to, and in that hope is where we rest. We find peace and purpose in knowing that just by believing we are meant to be the parents of these precious little ones, that God crafted each little family Himself, and that belief will allow our best parent to emerge and to feel a sense of confidence in the knowledge that we can (think Thomas the Tank #IknowIcan).
When we have that confidence that we can we are released of the chains of fear and doubt and thus we are set free to release the gold in our babies through being the best version of ourselves. That is all we can hope for and dream of, and it is all because we are enough.