Why date your hubs?

Justin and I went on a date night last night for the first time in what felt like forever. Life has just been really busy and to be honest we have been really bad at putting aside time for each other. Having spent an evening together, sitting opposite one another in a romantically-lit setting, with someone waiting on us (rather than us waiting on 3 kids), and enjoying a delicious meal together was so great for us last night and just what we needed!
Here is why I think making time for “Date Night” is so important:

    With the busyness of the times we live in (or is it the busyness we create??), I find that often as partners we can easily and without intention become two passing ships. We slowly and without realising don’t connect the way we used to. Information isn’t shared between you like it has in the past, you are on different pages and other people seem to know more than you do…  You know those moments when a friend mentions that you should do something after the guys play golf on Friday, and you are like… Golf on Friday… but we are going away?!
    As partners we should be sharing anything and everything with each other. It is important to keep communication between each other open as it ensures we keep connection with each other. A date night helps you zone in on each other and really talk. I know Justin and I spoke about things last night that we haven’t had a chance to chat about in ages; holiday plans, money saving tactics, family and friends and more. It was so good to re-open that communication and connection with my best friend!
    Let’s be honest… us moms pour everything into our kids, our home and our work, and very often by the time we make it through “crazy hour” and the kids are finally bathed, fed and ready for bed we are completely tapped out and want nothing more than to climb into our PJs and not talk to anyone or have another soul ask us for anything! It is totally normal and natural for us to have the least time for our partners at this stage in our lives as young moms with young kids… but that doesn’t make it right! Our hubbies crave our attention and to feel important to them just as much as we crave that in return, and it is so important to pull ourselves together at least once in a while to give each other the energy we deserve from one another. Life is so crazy and exhausting and everyone is so demanding of us that our energy gets sapped before the end of the day. When it comes to date night more often than not I have thoughts of pulling out a couple hours before it happens because oh my gosh I am soooo tired and my slippers look soooo comfy and warm!! BUT it is amazing how once you start actually getting ready for it that energy comes from some deep reserve you didn’t know you had, and you get so excited! Who knows, that energy may just follow you all the way home and into the bedroom πŸ˜‰
    As moms it is easy to stop putting effort into our selves.. or maybe we make an effort for work or being out and about, but by the time the clock strikes 5pm we slap on our comfiest slack pants and whip our hair into a mom-bun. Let’s be real, its totally 100% fine, in my opinion, for this to be the norm! Comfy is key when it comes to the end of a long day… and our hubbies must love us in our most pumpkin-like state too… BUT there is nothing that reignites the passion, attraction and even romance between you when you each put a little extra effort into your appearance. Remember that excitable feeling of dating your hubby before you were his wifey, before there were kiddies and everything else… that excited, butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling you had as you were deciding on what outfit to wear to that dinner or movie date?? Bringing that feeling back into your marriage through a little dress-up, an extra dab of make-up and some beautifully clean hair πŸ˜‰ can do just that… and that feeling having your hubby look at you with that little *I am so lucky* glint in his eye is a feeling that can’t be beat! Plus it works both ways; I loooooove smelling his deliciousness as he has sprayed a little extra aftershave just for me, and looking at his freshly shaven face #hearteyes
    It is so important to remember to look after ourselves for each other. We love each other no matter what we look like, but bringing the spark back through putting in a little extra effort can do wonders for a marriage!
    When you have time set aside especially to reconnect, re-energise and refocus your relationship it is amazing how close you feel to one another again. Communication is the biggest factor when it comes to feeling close or distant to someone. The more you talk and share with each other the more you are able to understand where each other are at, support each other through struggles, celebrate each-other’s successes, and create that intimacy and closeness that is essential for a healthy marriage (or relationship) to flourish. This, coupled with putting effort into ourselves and making the time and energy for each other as a priority to one another will not only ensure the pathways to that soul-connection re-opens, but when that happens it generally makes you want to be closer to your partner in more ways than one… <3

We had a lovely dinner experience at the new Peron Peron restaurant in Ballito Lifestyle centre – Service was brilliant, the complimentary bruschetta starter was DELISH and I definitely recommend their ribeye steak. 

Author: Shan Fourie

Shan Fourie is a busy mom of three, based in Ballito, and is a full-time lifestyle blogger/Content Creator. With over 14 years of experience in marketing, Shan began blogging in 2018, and embarked into full-time content creation in 2021. Shan uses her platform to share brands, businesses as well as to raise awareness and funds for causes and initiatives close to her heart. Somewhat of an activist, Shan has helped bring people together for multiple causes, including A21 Walk for Freedom, multiple Bone Marrow & Blood drives, a peaceful protest to stop NetCare Alberlito from closing its paeds ward, as well as other movements she is passionate about. Her biggest focus this year is on raising funds, alongside The Rise Up Movement, for a GBV safe house in Kwadukuza, along with a lab for facilitating rape-kits on site, instead of having to send them to Pretoria. Shan is an official Ambassador for (a) The SA Bone Marrow Registry, (b) the Red Movement (a movement intent on eradicating period poverty), and (c) and a partner of the Rise Up Movement - an NPO that stands against GBV, Child abuse, and Human Trafficking. Shan was a Mrs South Africa 2022 finalist, 2023 CANSA ambassador for Mrs South Africa, and Discovery Bank was her gold sponsor. Shan is also the official Wellness influencer for Gateway Theatre of Shopping and The Pencil Club Umhlanga. Shan believes that wellness is all-encompassing - mental, physical and emotional. She believes it is important to keep your life clean of toxicity. Self-care is super important to her.

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